Be honest. As we’re all told as kids, “honesty is always the best policy” and the same is true in a situation like this. If this “other-woman” is truly going to be a part of your life and in turn a part of your child’s life and a part of your ex-wife’s life, then lying is not getting this relationship off to a great start. Whether anybody likes it or not, you’re now a team. A team whose ultimate goal should be the best interests of the child and his or her welfare. When you start the team off by lying, it definitely starts everything out on the wrong foot. The ex-wife really has no alternative than to hate the OW. Maybe in time the ex-wife will work through her hate and anger towards the OW, but wouldn’t it be easier to avoid all that anger and resentment by being honest from the beginning?
For the OW-
Please keep your mouth closed. The ex-wife may have some anger and resentment built up if you both lied for months and months. She may lash out at both of you. Here’s my tip- get over it. No matter what she says or does, keep your mouth closed. She has some hate to work through and eventually she will work through it. Until then, buck up and take it like an adult. You were a homewrecker for goodness sake, it’s the least you can do.
Also, you may have your own opinions regarding the child with the ex-wife. You may want to tell his father all your opinions and what really should be done in regards to the child. Here’s my tip- don’t. Honestly, the child is none of your business. It’s not your child. Maybe one day, the ex-wife will want your opinion and when she does she’ll ask for it. Until then, keep your mouth closed.